Apologies for our brief hiatus, folks! The Game of Thrones quotes will resume, rest assured, and let’s kick it off with the best quotes from Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 1!
1. “Grand Maester Pycelle made the same joke. You must be proud to be as funny as a man whose balls brush his knees” – Tyrion Lannister
Tyrion suffers a quite horrendous fall from grace following the Battle of the Blackwater, where he sustained a face wound after a knight of the kingsguard tried to kill him, received no credit for his battle-changing move with the wildfire, and then got put in little more than a closet as his old quarters were taken over by his father. Cersei laughs at his living situation, snidely saying that he doesn’t need much room. Pycelle had been in earlier and made that exact joke, so Tyrion mocks Cersei for having a sense of humor akin to someone as ancient as Pycelle.
2. “Still makes me more clever than you” – Tyrion Lannister
One of the more iconic Game of Thrones quotes by Tyrion comes in the first episode of Season 3, and is aimed at Cersei. After his sister tells him he isn’t half as clever as he thinks he is, Tyrion replies that this would still make him cleverer than her in a seamless comeback.
3. “If I remember correctly she never stole a necklace again” – Cersei Lannister
In a strange exchange between the siblings, Cersie and Tyrion begin talking about how Cersei set her guards on a 9 year old servant girl when she was 9, too. Tyrion tells her that, if he remembers correctly, the guards beat down made her lose an eye. Cersei replies with a laugh that if she remembers correctly the girl never stole anything again. Cersei’s malice is certainly seen in this cruel quote.
4. “Thousands of years ago, the First Men battled the White Walkers and defeated them. I want to fight for the side that fights for the living. Did I come to the right place?” – Jon Snow
Blimey, Jon, are you sure you’re not joining the wildlings for real. This Jon Snow quote is said to Mance Rayder when the king beyond the wall asks Jon why he wants to join them. Unsatisfied with the first answer Jon gave, he demands a second. This is what Jon gives in return, and was enough to earn the trust of the wildings.
5. “Jugglers and singers require applause. You are a Lannister” – Tywin Lannister
Most quotes that make emphasis that someone is a Lannister are usually Tywin Lannister quotes, and this one is directed at Tyrion for asking for some gratitude after he essentially saved the whole city from Stannis’ sacking. A fair request, but not one Tywin thought to pander to.
6. “I do not judge people for the gods they worship. If I did, I’d have thrown you in the sea before you ever set foot on Dragonstone” – Davos Seaworth
If you think waving a red rag to a bull draws an angry reaction, you’ve clearly never seen how heated Davos gets upon seeing a red priestess. Surviving the Battle of the Blackwater within an inch of his life, Davos sets to Dragonstone to kill Melisandre as he hears she is burning men alive for disagreeing with her. Upon being confronted on this, the priestess asks Davos how he would deal with the “infidels”. He responds that if he judged people by their gods then he’d have acted on her long ago.
7. “Watch out for her… Watch out for her with him” – Ros
As Shae and Ros stand at the harbor watching Baelish and Sansa speak, Ros tells Shae to watch out for Sansa. She then adds, after being told Shae always does, to especially be wary of what Baelish may do to Sansa. It’s telling that even Lord Baelish’s confidante tells people on the low to be wary of her master.
8. “Because the truth is always either terrible or boring” – Sansa Stark
Our little bundle of melancholy quotes is still in full force in the third season of Game of Thrones, and here Sansa is telling Shae why she likes to invent stories of where a ship is going and why as part of a game she plays.
9. “Your Grace? Did you hear that? From now on you’d better kneel every time I fart” – Tormund Giantsbane
Jon meets Tormund in Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 1, and mistakenly takes him for the king beyond the wall. He kneels after addressing tormund, and calls him “Your Grace”. This is received humorously by the people in the king’s tent, and Tormund mocks his new-found title by saying that people best kneel before him for every little thing he does.
10. “Stand, boy. We don’t kneel for anyone beyond the wall” – Mance Rayder
Above explains why Jon kneeled before Tormund, and here we are introduced to the true king beyond the wall – Mance. He tells Jon that they kneel for no one north of the wall. It’s fitting that this is Mance’s first line, as it shows us the side of the wildlings that we had not seen yet in the one-sided narrative pushed by the Night’s Watch.
11. “We need to get back to the wall. It’s a long march, and we know what’s out there. But we have to make it, have to warn them. Or, before winter’s done, everyone you’ve ever known will be dead” – Jeor Mormont
After Sam survives a near-death experience with a Wight thanks to the old Bear burning the undead creature alive, Mormont addresses the group and how they need to get back to the wall to warn the rest of the seven kingdoms what is coming for them. To add importance to an already significant task, he explains what happens if they fail to do this.
12. “We are. But I’m a sell-sword. I sell my sword. I don’t loan it out to friends as a favor” – Bronn
Bronn tells Tyrion that his rate will be going up now that he is an anointed knight, which seems to offend Tyrion slightly who questions their friendship with Bronn trying to raise his price. Bronn explains that they are friends, but he is, by trade, a sell-sword, not a loan-sword.
For more awesome Game of Thrones quotes check out our quote bonanzas of Season 1 of Game of Thrones and Season 2.
Image credits: HBO