Game of Thrones Season 1 Episode 4 becomes our most quote-worthy episode so far, with 16 quotes from the episode being worthy of remembering. Here are the 16 best quotes from GoT Season 1 Episode 4.
1. “I’ll bet you smell of Blackberry jam! Let me smell it, come here” – Robert Baratheon
During a conversation between Jaime Lannister and Jory of Ned’s household guard, Jaime mentions how Robert likes to have whores in his company whenever Jaime is on guard, to disrespect his sister. When the door opens briefly for the some of the girls to leave, we catch only a few words, which are Robert wanting to see if a girl smells of Blackberry jam. He’s so unapologetically raucous you just have to howl.
2. “Start the damn joust before I piss myself” – Robert Baratheon
Robert again being a drunken slob, as he loudly proclaims to his subjects to get a move on before he pisses himself. Cersei’s reaction of total disdain for Robert and his nature only serve to make it more funny.
3. “So I sat there, in the brothel, as Ros took off her clothes. But I couldn’t do it, ‘cos all I could think was, what if I got her pregnant, and she had a child, another bastard named Snow. It’s not a good life for a child” – Jon Snow
Jon warms everyone’s hearts with this quote from Season 1 Episode 4, revealing how, when he had the chance to have sex with a beautiful women, he chose not to in fear of bringing another bastard into the world. In a world full of such careless people, Jon’s kind heart is very welcome.
4. “Distrusting me was the wisest thing you’ve done since you climbed off your horse” – Lord Baelish
In a typically-Baelish retort to Ned saying that he may have been wrong to distrust Baelish, Littlefinger once again warns of the treachery that’s abound in King’s Landing.
5. “Has anyone ever told you the story of the Mountain and the Hound? Lovely little tale of brotherly love. The Hound was just a pup, six years old maybe, Gregor, a few years older, already a big lad already getting a bit of a reputation. Some lucky boys are just born with a talent for violence. One evening, Gregor found his little brother playing with a toy by the fire. Gregor’s toy. A wooden knight. Gregor never said a word. He just grabbed his brother by the scruff of his neck and shoved his face into the burning coals, held him there while the boy screamed, while his face melted.” – Lord Baelish
It’s a long one, granted, but we had to include this quote for how well it’s delivered by Baelish, and it’s with this single story that the Hound’s previously-unexplained wound is revealed and we get an understanding of how monstrous the Mountain is.
6. “I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, bastards, and broken things” – Tyrion Lannister
It feels like for most of the first season Tyrion is trying to convince people that he’s not evil like the whole of Westeros thinks, and it’s with this line he shows this to Robb. He provides Bran with the blueprints for a saddle that will make the crippled boy able to ride a horse once again.
7. “Your next tumble with Ros is on me. I’ll try not to wear her out” – Tyrion Lannister
From heartfelt Tyrion quotes to typical Tyrion quotes, the Imp says his farewell to Theon by giving him a coin to pay for his next meeting with Ros. He sarcastically ends by saying he’ll try not to wear her out.
8. “I am a Khaleesi of the Dothraki. I am the wife of the great Khal and I carry his son inside me. The next time you raise a hand to me, will be the last time you have hands” – Daenerys Targaryen
This quote is the first time Dany stands up for herself against her brother Viserys, and is one of the most powerful quotes she has in Season 1. After Viserys strikes her, she takes the upper hand by claiming the next time he did that she’d have his hands removed. Truly a turning point in the sibling’s relationship dynamic, which had previously treated Daenerys awfully.
9. “As was I” – Cersei Lannister
In an intense battle of indirect threats, Cersei closes her conversation with Ned Stark in the most brilliant way, saying this quote after Ned states how he was trained to kill his enemies.
10. “Pile of mud. Mud, and shit, and twigs. The best these savages can do” – Viserys Targaryen
When Dany and the tribe come into view of Vaes Dothrak, the holy city of the Dothraki, they stop for a moment to marvel in wonder. Viserys chimes in with this lovely interpretation of it in his usual elitist way.
11. “The brave men didn’t kill dragons. The brave men rode them” – Viserys Targaryen
While in a bath with Doreah, the conversation turns to dragons and how there are none left. Doreah thinks that brave men handled that, wiping the dragons out, to which Viserys replies that the brave men weren’t the ones killing them, but riding them.
12. “Well after 15 years in a pleasure house I imagine just seeing the sky makes you happy” – Viserys Targaryen
The hilariously inflated ego of Viserys sees him treating everyone else with scorn, believing himself to be the last Dragon, which leads to a lot of funny quotes to insult or joke with others, in this such case Doreah.
13. “You girls can do as you please. But if Thorne puts me up against Lady Piggy, I’m gonna slice me off a side of bacon” – Rast
Rast continues to be the villain of Castle Black, being one of the few recruits not to agree with Jon Snow’s idea not to hurt Sam in training, seeing as he is a hopeless fighter.
14. “They’ll need an eighth hell to fit him in” – Pyp
Grenn’s reaction to seeing Samwell Tarly join sword training is funny enough: “What in seven hells is that”, but Pyp’s quote takes the cake, saying the seven hells won’t have room for Sam.
15. “They will call you Men of the Night’s Watch. But you’d be fools to believe it. You’re boys still, and come the Winter you will die, like flies” – Alliser Thorne
In a particularly intimidating speech by Thorne, he warns Jon and Sam not to believe their titles as Men of the Night’s Watch after they take their vows.
16. “Last night we had a tavern riot, a brothel fire, three stabbings, and a drunken horse race down the street of sisters” – Janos Slynt
One of the funniest quotes from Season 1 is Janos Slynt, commander of the Gold Cloak’s, informing the small council of a night’s crime in King’s Landing.
Check out some of the other best quotes from Game of Thrones Season 1 with Episodes 2 and Episode 3’s quotes.
Image credits: Screenshot from HBO