Game of Thrones Season 1 Episode 3 includes a plethora of epic quotes, including love quotes from Jaime, power quotes from Jaime, funny quotes from Jaime, oh and some of the other awesome characters pitch in, too.
1.“War was easier than daughters” – Ned Stark
Ned’s comedic side shines through after both of his daughter’s leave the dinner table in a strop – he likens raising daughters to going to war, with the former being harder.
2. “They never tell you how they all shit themselves. They don’t put that part in the songs” – Robert Baratheon
When recalling first kills with Ser Barristan, Robert reveals the harsh reality of war, saying that it isn’t as pretty as the songs paint it to be, it’s a gruesome and terrifying thing for most people.
3. “Lancel. Gods, what a stupid name. Lancel Lannister. Who named you, some halfwit with a stutter?” – Robert Baratheon
His grace entertains himself in a number of ways, and apparently loudly and rudely making fun of his squire’s name while his squire is present is one of them. This quote is perhaps a summary of Robert’s brash, unapologetic manner.
4. “Ah, the Starks. Quick tempers, slow minds” – Lord Baelish
After Ned pushes Baelish against a wall and begins choking him as he believed he had lied about his wife being in the city and brought him to a brothel as a jape, Baelish mutters this under his breath. It’s further reinforcement of how woefully out of place the Starks are in King’s Landing.
5. “Don’t tell anyone, I have a reputation to maintain” – Lord Baelish
After Cat tells Littlefinger he’s a true friend, Baelish reveals the importance of perception in a world as full of machiavellian scheming as King’s Landing. He asks, in a half-sarcastic tone, not to let anyone know as he has a fearsome reputation to uphold.
Yoren and Tyrion sit discussing the strangest thing they’ve ever eaten. Yoren sets the bar quite high with a bear’s balls, but Tyrion being Tyrion has a witty comeback as usual, flipping the meaning of “eaten”.
After being told by Jorah that she’s finally learning to talk like a queen, Dany reveals how she’s beginning to assimilate into the Dothraki world, correcting him that she’s actually learning to talk like a Khaleesi.
8. “Everyone who isn’t us, is an enemy” – Cersei Lannister
While discussing politics with Joffrey, the topic arises of whether or not the Stark’s are enemies. Cersei reveals just how elitist she is in regards to holding her house above everyone else’s, claiming anyone outside of their circle is an enemy.
9. “The King shits and the Hand wipes” – Jaime Lannister
Jaime uses what he claims to be a common expression to sum up what Ned will be doing as Robert’s Hand of the King: cleaning up the inevitable messes he’ll make.
10. “Tell me, if I stabbed the Mad King in the belly instead of the back, would you admire me more?” – Jaime Lannister
Jaime quirkily replies to Ned Stark’s condescending remark about how Jaime killed the Mad King in a way that accurately assesses how well versed he is at deflecting this frequent criticism.
11. “I’ll go to war with him if I have to. They can write a ballad about us: The War for Cersei’s cunt” – Jaime Lannister
If there was ever someone that could make you laugh about incest, it’s Jaime. While Cersei frets about what would happen if Bran remembers what he saw and tells Robert about their relationship, Jaime answers back with one his most memorable quotes in the series.
12. “The boy won’t talk. And if he does, I’ll kill him. Him, Ned Stark, The King, the whole bloody lot of them until you and I are the only people left in this world” – Jaime Lannister
More great quotes flow from Jaime during an intense romantic conversation he and his Sister have. It’s another ferociously intense proclamation of what he’d do if Bran wakes up and spills the beans about them, and is one of the best love and power quotes in Season 1.
13. “He said the same thing he’d been saying for hours. Burn them all” – Jaime Lannister
I know this is a best Game of Thrones quotes from Season 1 Episode 3, but Jaime really does have this many that belong on the list. In this one, he reveals some rare insight on the Mad King, revealing his last word’s to Robert which truly depict a deranged character, leaving Robert visibly shocked.
14. “My little birds are everywhere. Even in the North. They whisper to me, the strangest stories” – Lord Varys
Lord Varys reveals the extent of his spy network. He says this after impressively knowing that Catelyn Stark had come to King’s Landing bearing the dagger that was used in her son’s assassination attempt.
15. “Better than no one! Here, a man gets what he earns, when he earns it” – Benjen Stark
Jon asks Benjen if he can out beyond the wall with him, as a ranger, citing the fact that he’s better than everyone else at sword combat as his reason. Benjen snaps back at him, saying all men are equal at the Wall until they demonstrate their worth to earn something.
16. “You do not command the Dragon. I’m lord of the Seven Kingdoms; I don’t take orders from savages or their sluts” – Viserys Targaryen
Overreacting as usual, Viserys violently chastises Dany after telling the Dothraki horde to stop, claiming she can’t command the Dragon. You just have to laugh at his inflated sense of importance.
Check out some of the other best quotes from Game of Thrones Season 1 Episode 1 and Episode 2. Or, check out our full compilation of the best quotes from Season 1.
Image credits: Screenshot from HBO